Ah, the Winter Olympics! That giant paean to ancient sports you didn’t even know existed, such as the universally popular pastime of combining skiing and shooting, AKA the biathlon, and the equally beloved sport of chucking a kettle across a frozen lake, AKA curling. These are now coupled with various jazzy events involving people doing acrobatics on snowboards, which were quite possibly added because all that kettle chucking wasn’t really bringing in the TV viewers any more.